Hey, Interwebz frendz! It’s me, your friendly, lovable tail-wagging JournoDog.

Look, I know Ma and Dad think they’re being sneaky. They do that thing where they lower their voices or look at each other with those “knowing” eyes.

But what they don’t realize is that while I’m lying on the floor or comfy chair with my eyes closed shut, my ears are basically high-powered satellite dishes.

I hearz all and am always alert. Science even says so.

just read (okay, Dad read it out loud while I napped) this USA Today news story about a study published in Science journal. Turns out, I’m not just “good at listening” — I’m actually a “gifted word learner.” Hooman words, not mine.

Science hoomans discovered that smarty dogs like me can actually learn the names of things just by eavesdropping on hooman talking.

1. “Magic Words” are just the beginning

Ma and Dad think they only have to worry about the big ones. You know the ones:

  • Cheese: (The sound of the fridge drawer opening is the opening act; then there’s that wrapper – I know it well, identifying within 2.1 seconds no matter the room I’m in. The word is the headliner).
  • Chicken: (I can hear the ‘ch’ sound from three rooms away. This wondrous food, too).
  • Outside: (The ultimate invitation to go sniff da sniffs and dig up scoops of food, maybe to see and talk with frendz or to claim my yard, or even let loose a poopsie).
  • Treat: (The word that makes my tail turn into a helicopter blade).

But this study proves what I’ve known all along: I’m tracking everything.

JournoDog is always on guard, protectn’ & sniffin’ da sniffs.

In the experiment, they had hoomans talk to each other about a new toy while the dog just watched. They didn’t even look at the dog! They just said the name of the toy to the other hooman.

And guess what? The dogs learned the name anyway. Bottom line: We so smart.

2. Like a toddler (but cuter)

Scientists said that the way we pick up words by overhearing them is “strikingly similar” to how 18-month-old hooman toddlers learn.

They call it “social-cognitive processing.” I call it “keeping tabs on management.”

If Ma says to Dad, “I put the new Giant Ducky toy in the white basket,” and she isn’t even looking at me, I’m still filing that away for later.

When they finally ask, “Where’s your toy?” I’m already halfway to the basket fully aware Giant Ducky is there waiting for me.

It’s not magic; it’s just good business scents.

3. Outta sight, not outta mind

This was the best part of the story: the researchers tried to trick the dogs.

[Enter laughs here].

They showed them a toy, then hid it in a bucket or a box so the dog couldn’t see it, and then they said the name. Most of the gifted dogs still made the connection!

This means my brain is doing “temporal separation” math. If Ma says “Cheese“ while ahe’s at the kitchen counter and I’m on the couch, I don’t need to see the cheese or hear the wrapper to know the cheese exists in the fourth dimension of my stomach.

it’s on at that moment. And someone better pay me da required cheese tax!

The Dog’s Verdict:

The study says “Gifted Word Learners” are rare, but I think we’re just better at hiding how much we know. It’s a tactical advantage.

Spelling words may be the workaround for now, but it’s only a matter of time rid time before this genius dog figures that O-U-T-(side), too.

Believe me, I’ve already been color-coded for genius. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to Ma and Dad.

For the time being, I’ll keep lying on the floor , eyes closed, snoring a little bit for effect. But the second I hear “chicken” “or cheese” whispered in the kitchen? I’m there.

Science says I’m a genius. I just want my snack.

Until next time, or whenever the news beckons like a barking dog you can’t help but pay attention to, #JournoDog out.

As always, remember: Love your pets. Support local journalism. Believe in facts and trust credible sources. Get along with other people and pets. And try to smile and find a little happiness for your heart every day.

## 30 ##

Leave a comment