Operation Epic Poopsie Bag Lawn Clearing

Hi, all. It’s JournoDog, your four-legged investigate canine correspondent here again sniffing out the news and digging up scoops (of food).

Reporting live from the southeast quadrant of the backyard near the silver chain link fence and beneath the big overhanging tree.

Today, I witnessed a massive logistical undertaking by the Head of Strategic Yard Maintenance (commonly known as Dad). He emerged with the dreaded, yet necessary, roll of scented green poopsie bags.

There is a certain clinical precision to how he locates my strategic deposits. One by one, my days and evenings of hard work was scooped up into “refreshing meadow” scented plastic baggies.

Personally, I think the scent is a bit much, but I appreciate the effort to maintain the aesthetic of our shared workspace.

Anyhow, Operation Epic Poopsie Bag Lawn Clearing was underway.

i’m not sure why my poopsies are taken away. They add so much character to my yard, not to mention how they radiate a beautiful odor of Me that tell all possible intruders that this yard is claimed.

Why Dad sees a need to threaten our home security is baffling to me. I mean, I’m the one out here at least twice a day, sniffing the sniffs and knowing the state of my yard security. Having my poopsies deposited strategically around the yard, makes us safer.

But hey, I’m no dog named General or Major. I’m just a JournoDog reporting on the facts.

Post-poopsie zoomies

Despite Dad’s misguided operation of hauling away my poopsies, a clean yard does have advantages.

It starts as a twitch in the hindlegs. Then, the inevitable tuck and run begins, lowering the center of gravity for maximum torque before I zoomie around the poopsie-free yard.

Fence coast to fence coast, I go go go!!! It’s like I’ve been training for this post-op excitement my whole life. Some sources from neighboring yards report that my speeds are so high that they violate local residential ordinances.

Now, when do these zoomies become a post-poopsie victory lap? No one really knows. But they do. I become a happz proud little doggo boi, smiling and zooming to door where Ma or Dad welcome me back inside.

And yes, there are usually a few rounds of excited zoomies indoors, too. Sometimes I kick up the rugs or make things crash, but it’s all in good fun as I celebrate my poopsies in yard.

Before Dad’s next inevitable mission renewed for more Epic Poopsie Bag Yard Clearings.

Even with the clear flaws of this operation, I’ll admit that there is no feeling quite like a clean backyard and an empty tank. Ma and Dad both look on, shaking their heads, likely marveling at my athletic prowess.

Editor’s Note: The lawn is currently 100% clear. This status is expected to change by approximately 7pm tonight or 8am tomorrow, at the latest.

With that, JournoDog out. Until the news beckons like a barking dog who needs to go outside.

Remember, love your pets. Support local journalism. Trust credible sources and not propaganda. And try to find smiles and happz for your heart every chance you get.

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