Hey frendz!

Being a JournoDog, it’s my job to sniff the sniffs, unbury ledes, and dig up the newsy treats.


While Ma and Dad believe that table dinner is a private hooman event restricted to those with deposable thumbs and chairs, I am here to report the truth from the front lines.

Yes, from the corner of the mahogany kitchen table, where it’s 40% normo room smells and 60% “Ma’s Yummy Chicken.”

Consider me your chief canine culinary correspondent.

Ma and Dad have a strict “No Begs” policy mandate at meal time. However, as a dedicated investigative journalist, I have discovered a loophole.

I don’t need to touch the plate to taste the plate. I am practicing the ancient, refined art of “Licking the Scents.”

The Science of Scent-Clouds

To the untrained hooman nose, air is just… air.

But to a pro news-dog like myself, the air between Dad’s plate and my nose is a rich, multi-layered tapestry of flavor smells.

When that steam rises off a hot tato, it carries a payload of data for this doggo. If I sits at optimal tactical angle, I can intercept the floating flavor mid-flight.

Even more if I sneak my sniffer into the little opening between Dad’s arm and the wooden table for closer sniffs and scent licks.

A strategic innocent look that says I’m not begging, while sitting pretty like a good boi, can make all the difference.

My Air-Lick Technique

You may have seen my air-lick technique in action.

My sniffer twitches at a frequency that could power my Dad’s robot parts. My eyes are locked on the target. And then, my taste-licker comes out.

  • Step 1: I pull the scent deep into my sniffer, filtering it through my canine computer cranium for max data retrieval.
  • Step 2: I flick my taster into the air. I’m not licking the carpet. I’m not licking the air for fun. I am literally catching the scents from Ma and Dad’s treasure-full plates.
  • Step 3: If I lick fast enough, I can reconstruct a 4-course meal entirely out of drift-scents. It’s basically molecular gastronomy, but for dogs.
  • Optional Step 4: Sometimes scents fill up my sniffer, so must do’s another lick in case there any crumbs on my sniffer.

The “No Begging” Policy

“Stop it! No begging! Go lay down!” — Direct quote from Ma at 6:67PM

Just to clarify: Ma and Dad are wrong. Am not begging.

My focus is research, merely a silent observer of the culinary arts. If the flavor molecules choose to escape the plate and enter my personal airspace, I have a professional obligation to dispose of them with my tongue.

All in the name of good boi journalism.

Final Verdict

Ma and Dad can keep their “rools” and “nappykins.”

As long as the kitchen is warm and the steam is rising, JournoDog will be on the scene, scent-licking the air and bringing you the hard-hitting flavorful news you deserve.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Dad just picked up a piece of meat frisbee (“burger”)…. The scents are glorious, and I have a deadline to meet.

Remember, love your pets. Give them scents and snacks. Support local journalism. And find treats of happiness and licks of love as often as possible.

Signing off, JournoDog 🐾

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