Stop the paw presses!

This is JournoDog, sniffin out scoops (of food) and diggin up buried snacks in the digital newsroom’s backyard.

Caught an earful of big-time history recently. Ma and Dad were watching a new show on the Big Glowing Rectangle, called “Histo-ree Greatest Pickles”…(I thinks maybeez)? It stars a shaggy Wolfe who likes to dig around yards just like this good boi.

This hooman scavenger dug into the archives of Mr. Meyer Lansky, a major mob bark boss long ago,l in ancient times before me.

What did he find? Bowties. Lots of em. And they all sold for $6,000 – wowzers, just think of all the toys and treats you could buy with that fortune!

It got me thinking about my own collection of dapper doggy bowties. Maybe I’m sitting on a gold mine, too.

I’ve got festive and statement-making, all bringing tailwags and lick-kisses because of how happz they make this doggo.

  • Stripes, solids, silly, sporty, and summertime.
  • One that makes me into a patriotic pup.
  • The big Y cowboy tie, telling all I’m a gritty GRRRR ranch dog who won’t tilt my head too long before sending meanies to the train station.
  • My newsprint paw bowtie, which makes me look like a real investigative reporter pro.

They all transform me into a distinguished doggo, bringing smiles and praise from all.

If we put these up for auction today, we aren’t just talking about a few extra scenery cents. This could be good boi capital coin for things that truly matter:

  • Squeaky Chew Toys: High-end plush toys that make that perfect squeak squeak sound on the first chew and feel so soothing on my chompers.
  • Gourmet Goodies: Gotta go beyond the standard kibble. I’d snag a steady supply of crispy bacon, sharp cheddar cheese, and a whole bunch of “chmkn.”
  • Distinguished Dogwear: Sure, I’m making bank off bowties. But can’t get all lazy dog. Must keep Savin’ and investin’ for future days. And a dog should always look snazzy. So, I’ll get more bowties. Plus scarfs (bananas, as Ma calls em) and fun shirts. But no paw booties for wintry white floof. Heck no.

Ma and Dad always say I look like a million bucks when I’m dressed for a deadline, so why not prove it?

No GRRRRs ‘gainst bowtie biz pals like Petsy, Paw Bistro, or even those that come to me by Evil Smile 📦. But this could be a bowtie box boon of epic scale.

It’s time to pivot the JournoDog biz model. Out with the old ties, in with the treats and toys!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the office evaluating my assets (and maybe taking a nap). Stay dapper, stay hungry for news. An make sure to stay classy, sharp-dressed frendz!

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Remember, love your pets. Buy them bowties and pretty things. Support local journalism. And always try to find smiles, tail wags, and happz for your heart as much as possible.

– JournoDog, out.

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